Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Small victories

An overwhelming sense of simplicity is weaving itself through my thoughts, in the way I knit this yarn over and under, over and under. . A freeing stillness beckons me beyond the noisy, swirling world.  I left there and the only thought was how I was supposed to want all of that, but I didn’t.  I’m still soaking in just how huge that really is.

We’re in the growing years, where our furniture is second hand, where sometimes we have rice and beans for dinner, and burgers, fries, and milkshakes are a real treat.   A conversation over steamy coffee with a friend as our emotional three years play happily and then cry. Repeat. Words intermittent between babies in need.   And then, one utters, “As if there is something wrong with that?  It’s food, it’s filling, it’s sustaining.  The problem is that it is humble.  There’s nothing wrong with humble.  What are we trying to prove?”

And you have to pause and ask yourself, what are we trying to prove?

We feel lost in a sea of voices that says humble is not okay.  Faster, faster, faster, more, more, more.  We swim upstream against the seductive currents of busy.  We struggle and strive this internal battle but we wear the uniform on the inside, so no one knows.

And then one day, you drive away and you’re supposed to want all of that, but you don’t. You don’t. Not even a little bit.

Slowly, you realize the victory, when overwhelming joy is found in…

Sharing a hot cocoa, heavy on the marshmallows with your little boy.

Melting into the thrift store love seat, wearing a slip cover one size too big.

Sitting in a friend’s kitchen,  as two three year olds both want the same snake and two babies seek the comfort of their mama’s arms… and you share a French press and say, motherhood isn’t something to just get through.   There’s beauty and challenges and meaning and purpose and truth waiting to be found.

It’s full, this life.

linking up with Just Write.


  1. Very beautifully written! I have a 3 yr. old and we have been going through the same thing lately. The money seems very short but expenses are long and we worry about we eat and what we can afford and looking like we have no money to outsiders. Sometimes in all this worry the joy of now gets lost. After reading this I dont feel so alone in this.....thank you for sharing!

  2. This. is lovely. And relatable. And then more lovely.

    (And yes, this life is full. beautifully told.)

  3. I love every single bit of this post. And I agree with you. There is so much beauty in the humble things. So glad I got to read this:-).

  4. Beautiful. I have realized that no, I actually don't want it all. In fact, I want so little that it surprises me.

    All I want is to be debt-free, live with my little family on some land someday and write whenever I want. Not too shabby of a dream.

  5. This was beautiful. Every word. There is nothing wrong with humble and I believe it makes life even sweeter, even more memorable. To find joy in the small things such as sharing hot cocoa with our little ones such a sweet and perfect memory for us and them... Loved every word of this post.


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