Dear baby boy

To my dearest little boy,

As you are sleeping quietly in your bed, the house is clean and still, and sounds of Explosions in the Sky softly fill the room, I begin to write you another letter.  I’ve been writing to you since before you were born, since the day we found out that you would be coming into our lives.  These letters fill the pages of a journal that I treasure and will keep for you to have one day.  I write these letters to remember the moments both ordinary and extraordinary, because together they make up this incredible story.  The journal is packed full of firsts and precious brief moments that I never want to forget and truths that I want you to always know.

Tonight, I write you a different letter, because even though we’ve been talking about this for months, we are just hours away from starting a brand new chapter in the story of our family.  For over two years, we’ve loved every second of being a family of three, daddy, mommy, and you.  It’s been the most amazing time in our lives, a wonder, an adventure, and a whirlwind of ups and downs.  Something new was always coming before we even realized it and we held on tight embracing those memories, while opening our hearts up to what was approaching.  Time changes when you become a parent, it lasts forever and not at all, simultaneously.  I know that life existed before your arrival, but that part is blurred and foggy, as it seems you’ve been a part of our lives forever.  And while life was great before we took on the role of daddy and mommy, I’d never want to live another day before that time.

You are an absolute delight.  Of course,  you are wildly good looking. You burst with love and joy and a general sense of wonder about the world around you.  You’re curious, smart, clever, funny, crazy, opinionated, and at times downright impossible.  Your spirit is sensitive to anger, tension, danger, and you show genuine concern when the characters from your favorite movies are in harm’s way.  You are drawn to the people who are quietly confident and peaceful.  You are reluctant of those who are not.  I see so much of your daddy in you, in your kindness and awareness.  You two are certainly buddies and I melt when I see you together, but most of all you are a mama’s boy, through and through.  No matter what, you will always be my little baby, my firstborn,  but I’ll be proud to watch you grow into the person you were created to be. 

And here we are on the brink of a change, as you are no longer just our baby, but you are becoming a big brother.  You, my little boy will be a phenomenal big brother and I can’t wait for you to meet your baby sister.   Being a big brother is a very important job, because you get to be a teacher, a protector, a friend, and at times, trouble.  As a teacher, you’ll be able to share all of the things you’ve already learned and are learning.  As a protector, you’ll keep your sister out of harm’s way and keep the stupid boys away from your sister.  And as a friend, you two will grow up and have many adventures.   And the trouble part, well, that comes with the territory.

So my love, I want you to know that while I’m overflowing with excitement and anticipation to meet your sister, I’m also savoring these last moments, where I get to be mommy to just you.  I’ve only ever been your mama, but now that is changing and the emotions range from joy to uncertainty, because there is only one me and soon, two of you.  However, I think we’ll manage just splendidly and it won’t take long to wonder just how we ever got along without her… and how delightful it will be as a family of four.

There is something about love, something limitless and unending and while our hearts burst towards you, our little boy, love will simply be multiplied as we welcome another child to our family.  Don’t ever worry about love running out, because the very source of it is this gushing spring that will never ever cease, and as long as we are receive life from that power and we cling to that truth found in the Creator of all, our ability to love with grow and grow.

So for tonight, sleep well my sweet, under your warm blankets, surrounded by your bears and cars, marvelous things await us…

Love,

Mama

Dear baby girl

My dearest little h,

I get to meet you so very soon, but every moment that stands between then and now seems like forever.   I don’t know just how or when you’ll decide to make your debut, but I know I’ll never forget it. 

I can still remember the first time I saw your brother, I heard him cry and tears welled up in my eyes.  I can’t explain the feelings that overwhelmed every part of me, but perhaps one day you’ll understand.  The doctors put him in your daddy’s arms and brought him close to me.  I melted the first time I saw his face, one eye closed, squinting at the brightness of the room and as your daddy held him up to my face, I breathed him in and placed a kiss on his cheek.  My life changed that day and I can only imagine how your arrival will add to the beauty and mystery that is this life. 

Your daddy is eager to meet you and I know you’ll just adore him, because I do.  He’s the kindest, most loving, most patient man that I know.  Sometimes, I think he’s too patient, but usually, he’s just the right amount, the perfect balance of me.  Also, he’s a softie.  You’ll figure that out soon.  He has the biggest heart and while he is a dreamer, he’s practical and willing to invest the hard work to make things happen.  He is already aware that when it comes to your wardrobe and accessories, he is in serious trouble, but I promised him that we will try to be reasonable.

Your brother  is a wonder.  He’s a kind soul, like his daddy and he doesn’t respond well to tension or frustration.  He’s also the funniest thing around and we have been laughing for the last 2 years, because of him.  He’s a lover and rather fond of his mama, sharing mama will be brand new and it might take some getting used to, but I know he’s really excited to meet you and everyday he rubs my belly and says, “Baba,” which is his attempt at saying  Harper.  He’ll get it.  You’ll probably recognize his voice, because he’s noisy and says hi to you and everyone else about 1,000,000 times a day.  He loves trucks, trains, books, and Toy Story.  I can’t wait for you to meet him and to watch you two be brother and sister.  I loved having brothers, I know you will too.  It might be the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done, but I know that being mommy to both of you will be the best ever. 

I can’t wait to teach you so many important things, like how you don’t really have to match, even though other people might say otherwise and how to stand in front of the ocean and feel the salty sea splashing across your face.  I’ll teach you how to be a lady, not a princess, because princesses tend to be selfish, lazy, and spoiled.  Ladies are lovely both inside and out, their beauty radiates, and they are smart,  capable, and strong, while soft and kind.  We’ll have so much fun having tea parties with vintage tea cups and homemade scones, we can even dig for worms too,  we’ll create beautiful art that makes the world more wonderful, and we’ll laugh and dream and grow.

I know it will be a while before we can do most of those things, but until then, I’ll hold you, love you,  feed you, change your diaper, keep you safe and warm.

We’ll see you soon my little lovely.  

Love,

Mama

Dear Daughter: Tiffany writes

As we countdown the days until meeting our baby girl, I asked some friends to write their thoughts on having a daughter.   It means so much that they would take time to share their stories and I get more excited with each letter.  I hope you enjoy them too.

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Tiffany writes:

I always, always knew I wanted to be a mommy of little girls. With my first pregnancy, I wanted a girl so badly that I had completely convinced myself that I was having a boy. Surely I just wouldn't be lucky enough to be granted this desire of my heart. However, God promises to give us the desires of our hearts, and I truly believe He placed that desire there, because He knows me better than anyone! He knew the trials I would face, and He knew that my sweet girls would be a constant reminder to me of just what an awesome God we serve.

Emma and Addison have such different (BIG) personalities. Emma is a true Mama's girl, glued to my hip whenever possible. She's brilliant, clever, funny, creative, sarcastic, challenging and curious. At almost 3 years old, her questions have changed from "what color is that tree?" and "can I have milk to drink?" to "why is that tree green?" and "can I have coffee to drink?" She keeps me in check, picking up on my attitude and copying EVERYTHING she sees me do. She's a mama to her her dolls, her younger sister, her cousin, and pretty much any child she meets.

Addi never EVER meets a stranger and runs to explore and learn everything she can about the world around her. She lives for the spotlight and craves attention. She dances as though she may never get another chance. She gives the best bear hugs and loves to snuggle. At 18 months old, she's like a sponge and is becoming a little mockingbird, imitating all she sees her big sister do. And just over the past few weeks has become obsessed with the potty (yay?!).

Being a mom to girls is an adventure. It's fun, challenging and also a bit scary. I see so much of myself in each of them (and not just because they look so much like me at their respective ages). I feel so protective of their little hearts and pray for them everyday that they will grow to fall in love with the lover of their souls.

Emma Shay and Addison Michaela, you are the most precious, crazy little woozles, and I just wouldn't have been complete without the privilege of being your Mama. I love you both with all my heart.

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Thanks Tiffany, your descriptions of both girls are just overflowing with pride and love.  Lovely.

Dear Daughter: Megan writes

As we countdown the days until meeting our baby girl, I asked some friends to write their thoughts on having a daughter.   It means so much that they would take time to share their stories and I get more excited with each letter.  I hope you enjoy them too.

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Megan writes:

A surprise. That’s what she was. I will never (EVER) refer to any of my children as “accidents,” but finding out in July 2009 that I was twenty weeks pregnant with a little girl was certainly not what I planned to learn as I visited the doctor that morning. The rest of that day was a whirlwind of excitement, nervousness, worrying, joy-sharing and dreaming about this next, beautiful phase of our lives. It did not take long at all to adjust to the fact that we would soon become a family of three and that “life as you know it will never be the same,” as SO MANY folks will tell you.

They were right. Though she was quite comfy where she rested inside me, the doctors were not content to allow her to stay any longer than forty-one weeks and five days, and so, she was gently
evicted and invited to come live here in the outside world with us. I’ll always believe her birth was a miracle…after fully dilating and pushing for two hours, the doctor came in and made us aware that she refused to move down any further. Thinking it was her size, they advised moving to a c-section before the baby was in any distress. Andrew and I agreed, and I welcomed the quick relief that came from the anesthesiologist. Just a few moments later, the memory as vivid as ever, I heard the doctor say, “Dad, stand up…here she comes!” He was so focused on me I had to tell him, “They’re talking to you, babe.” Andrew rose and I heard those few precious cries; then, a little scrunched face peered over the curtain above me and my eyes, while filled with tears, met those of the best blessing this life could’ve ever imagined. When the doctor told us later that her cord had been wrapped around her several times and that a c-section was the right move to avoid any danger for her, my heart filled with gratitude for a God who sees what we do not.

From that moment on, Adalyn Rose has continued to be the best surprise of our life. Thinking back to those first few months of her life when, though she adores her daddy and the rest of our family, she was always most content to be in my arms…remembering the first time she looked in my eyes and recognized, “Hey…you and me…we’re special, aren’t we?” Oh yes, my dear one, we sure are.

Though it’s only been fourteen months, I have watched her bright eyes and sweet smile continue to make every day better… as she perfects her animal sounds and sticks her tongue out to play a game with Daddy. As she hugs her baby doll and does little spins in place when she hears music, as she sits on my lap learning to wink and brush my hair ever so gently. As she runs around the rooms with snacks and sippy cups, making messes and then helping me clean them up. Then, when she hears the key in the door, peering around the corner knowing Daddy is finally home! Loving that she wants to sit on the countertop as Mommy makes dinner, just so she can be close to me. Knowing that, no matter how hyper, she will still fall right asleep as soon as we snuggle up together on the couch. Telling her there’s a baby in Mommy’s belly…I know she doesn’t fully comprehend, but I also know that she comes over and sweetly kisses my belly which holds her baby sister. She will be an excellent big sister…for sure.

She began as a surprise to us…something entirely unexpected, but so worth the wait, effort, time, preparation, money, stress, worry, and love poured out. And she continues to be, every day in new ways, a reminder of the sweet love our God has for His children…if it’s anything like the love I have for this little gem (and already possess for her little sister, to debut in just two months), we are blessed beyond measure.

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This is simply beautiful, Megan. Thanks so much.

dear daughter: Lori C. writes

As we countdown the days until meeting our baby girl, I asked some friends to write their thoughts on having a daughter.   It means so much that they would take time to share their thoughts and I get more excited with each letter.  I hope you enjoy them too.

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Lori writes:

I absolutely love having a girl. Besides the obvious~ they are SO fun to dress!!!~ there are treasures each and every day that come with having a daughter. There is a bond between a mother and a daughter like no other. Every stage is different. My daughter is 12 1/2 now and we have been through many phases together now. I've cried, laughed, endured, and clung to each phase.

We have always loved each other, but it changes and grows all the time. Her needs change and I have to learn how to flow accordingly. My deepest desire is to teach her to love God with all her heart, to love others freely and to have a quiet confidence within herself.  I want to teach her to give sacrificially, to be grateful for all she's blessed with, to have humility in all things, but to also be bold, daring and confident in everything her heart wants to accomplish. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin, have a healthy body image and to always look out for the underdog.

I also want to be surprised by what she learns on her own. In many ways, she's teaching ME all the time. As a mother, I think it's one of the greatest gifts we can give our children~ to let them know that we can learn from them too.  A daddy and a daughter also have a bond like no other and it is something to behold! I adore watching how my husband and daughter love each other. It makes me love them both all the more.

After having my baby girl, I wasn't sure I could be a mother to anything BUT girls. She was just so easy, so calm, so happy, so pretty and dainty...but when our son came 6 years later, we were somehow able to know what to do with him too. Whew! You are going to love seeing how Hudson reacts to this little bundle of loveliness that is Harper...and oh man, when they begin playing together and having to each phase. I cry at every birthday, both at the loss of what will never be again and in rejoicing who she has become. It's a wonderful thing to see a beautiful baby girl blossom into a beautiful young lady.conversations with each other...you will find your joy is complete.

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Thanks Lori, this was beautiful, so much to look forward to!

dear baby girl

Today is August 26, 2010, your daddy and I got to see you on the ultrasound monitor.  We got to see your sweet little arms and legs and that beautiful baby girl profile of yours.  Practically Audrey Hepburn.  You’re simply lovely. Already.
We are all so thrilled that you, a little girl of our very own will be joining us and making us a family of four in January.  When I say we, I mean, mostly your daddy and I, because your big brother doesn't really know what’s coming.  He’s very unaware that his whole world is going to change in a few months plus, he doesn’t really speak in full sentences and usually just talks about dogs, books, and birds, but if he really knew that he was going to have a baby sister, I think he’d be really excited too.  He seems to like babies, he points out every single one, but none of them have ever come home with us to stay.  Don’t worry if he doesn’t want to share his mommy at first, he’ll get used to it, it’s not really his choice.
Immediately after we found out that you were a girl, we went to Target to celebrate with Starbucks (I’ll tell you all about coffee, well you already know a little about it) and of course to buy you some clothes.  We are going to have so much fun, I’ll do my best to keep you very fashionable.  It’s important to look good, but remember, it’s more important to be a good person.  If you aren’t a good person, then clothes won’t help.  And you don’t have to choose one or the other, just so you know.   It only took a few minutes of me going crazy over all the sweet baby girl dresses and jackets for your daddy to realize that he was in serious trouble. 
We bought you a little grey onesie with the cover design from the Beatle’s Abbey Road album.  We like the Beatles around here.  In fact, your brother’s middle name is from one of their songs.   Back to the outfit, it’s grey with just a few touches of pink.  Grey is my favorite color and I think it looks better when you spell it with an “e” instead of an “a.”  Both versions are acceptable, though.  Spelling is also very important, but you’ll learn about that too.  In case you wondered, pink is a good color, but there are so many other great colors, don’t limit yourself. Variety is good. Oh and great style is about mixing, not matching.
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I have so much to tell you and you have a lot of growing to do. I’m going to keep all these letters in a journal for you to read one day, just like I did with your brother. Then one day, you can read it and keep it, if you want.  I hope it’s alright if I share a few of your letters here, for other people to read… they might enjoy it.
Well, we can’t wait to meet you, but we’ll happily wait until January, so you can keep growing and developing.  A lot of people will tell us that you will be here before we know it, and just in case you wondered, that is a terrible phrase, because the truth is, I do know it.  I do.  It’s not like I’m clueless or anything.  I know it’s not January and and I also know you’re still not ready to come out, THUS, I know it, making “before you know it”… incorrect. 
Love you.
19 weeks tomorrow.

Speaking of the sea...

I just received a letter from my sweet, little sis, who is spending a year as an exchange student in France.  Here is an excerpt. }

There are smells of fresh breads in the streets and salt from the sea.  Cute boats sail the shores fishing for oysters and shells… the music is beautiful when some plays an accordion in the streets.  the shops are endless and expensive.

Beautiful, no?

Be still my poor, little heart that loves all things French, One day we shall go.  One day, we shall go.