Saturday, January 22, 2011

Dear baby boy

To my dearest little boy,
As you are sleeping quietly in your bed, the house is clean and still, and sounds of Explosions in the Sky softly fill the room, I begin to write you another letter.  I’ve been writing to you since before you were born, since the day we found out that you would be coming into our lives.  These letters fill the pages of a journal that I treasure and will keep for you to have one day.  I write these letters to remember the moments both ordinary and extraordinary, because together they make up this incredible story.  The journal is packed full of firsts and precious brief moments that I never want to forget and truths that I want you to always know.
Tonight, I write you a different letter, because even though we’ve been talking about this for months, we are just hours away from starting a brand new chapter in the story of our family.  For over two years, we’ve loved every second of being a family of three, daddy, mommy, and you.  It’s been the most amazing time in our lives, a wonder, an adventure, and a whirlwind of ups and downs.  Something new was always coming before we even realized it and we held on tight embracing those memories, while opening our hearts up to what was approaching.  Time changes when you become a parent, it lasts forever and not at all, simultaneously.  I know that life existed before your arrival, but that part is blurred and foggy, as it seems you’ve been a part of our lives forever.  And while life was great before we took on the role of daddy and mommy, I’d never want to live another day before that time.
You are an absolute delight.  Of course,  you are wildly good looking. You burst with love and joy and a general sense of wonder about the world around you.  You’re curious, smart, clever, funny, crazy, opinionated, and at times downright impossible.  Your spirit is sensitive to anger, tension, danger, and you show genuine concern when the characters from your favorite movies are in harm’s way.  You are drawn to the people who are quietly confident and peaceful.  You are reluctant of those who are not.  I see so much of your daddy in you, in your kindness and awareness.  You two are certainly buddies and I melt when I see you together, but most of all you are a mama’s boy, through and through.  No matter what, you will always be my little baby, my firstborn,  but I’ll be proud to watch you grow into the person you were created to be. 
And here we are on the brink of a change, as you are no longer just our baby, but you are becoming a big brother.  You, my little boy will be a phenomenal big brother and I can’t wait for you to meet your baby sister.   Being a big brother is a very important job, because you get to be a teacher, a protector, a friend, and at times, trouble.  As a teacher, you’ll be able to share all of the things you’ve already learned and are learning.  As a protector, you’ll keep your sister out of harm’s way and keep the stupid boys away from your sister.  And as a friend, you two will grow up and have many adventures.   And the trouble part, well, that comes with the territory.
So my love, I want you to know that while I’m overflowing with excitement and anticipation to meet your sister, I’m also savoring these last moments, where I get to be mommy to just you.  I’ve only ever been your mama, but now that is changing and the emotions range from joy to uncertainty, because there is only one me and soon, two of you.  However, I think we’ll manage just splendidly and it won’t take long to wonder just how we ever got along without her… and how delightful it will be as a family of four.
There is something about love, something limitless and unending and while our hearts burst towards you, our little boy, love will simply be multiplied as we welcome another child to our family.  Don’t ever worry about love running out, because the very source of it is this gushing spring that will never ever cease, and as long as we are receive life from that power and we cling to that truth found in the Creator of all, our ability to love with grow and grow.
So for tonight, sleep well my sweet, under your warm blankets, surrounded by your bears and cars, marvelous things await us…

1 comment:

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Have a lovely day.
Drink some coffee.