Baby growing diaries #8 Bad vs. Good Questions

This morning, I wrote a long, extremely sarcastic post about silly questions to ask pregnant ladies.  I didn’t post it, but I felt better.  I do that often, writing helps me feel better and let’s me whine a little bit, even if I don’t share it with the entire modern world.  I’m still feeling rather uncomfortable today, but I just took a nap and I feel a little more like sunshine than earlier.   Now, I  think it would be funny to share a milder version of those same thoughts. 

During my baby growing posts, I often write about the things people feel compelled to say to those who are with child.  Maybe, I hope that by sharing my feelings I can change the world or maybe I just want to make you laugh.  I think it’s both.  I never want to complain much other than to a select number of people, because I know there are many people who wish they had the chance to complain about being pregnant, and I never want to take this gift for granted…  I just want to put my spin on it all, because I write, that’s what I do. So, with that being said…

Here are a few bad questions to ask your local pregnant mama.

1.  How are you feeling?  Chances are if you’re asked this in your third trimester, what you want to say is, “Pretty much, pick any part of my body and assume that it is sore and uncomfortable.”  But, I think the people really just want to hear is this, “Oh, me, I’m glowing and radiant.”  Go ahead, give them them one of those answers and report back to me.

2. Are you excited?  This one is beyond me.  I mean, OF COURSE. YES. HELLO.  You’ve been thinking about meeting this little baby for months and months, maybe even years.  Excited doesn’t even cut it.  Pick a better question.

3.  Are you ready?  Well, at this point, that’s irrelevant.  That’s a question to ask prior to…you know, procreating.   I mean, one of these days… that baby is coming out and you’re going to be ready or you’re going to have do a really good job of pretending that you are.  I tend to believe most people do the pretending bit, but isn’t most of parenting a learn as you go sort of gig?  Ready or not… here they come.

4.  Are you getting plenty of rest?  If this is your first child, maybe you can answer yes, maybe.  BUT, if you’re growing #2 or #3 or more… this is the silliest question of all time.  I mean, do people think that just because you are pregnant your other children automatically become the low maintenance types, who only need watering once a day, like chia pets?  Really.  And furthermore, whoever writes those chapters in the pregnancy books about not lifting anything heavy must have had feathers for children.

 

See, terrible questions.  Now, let me share some questions that would be much better to ask.

1. When would you like to take a nap?
2. When can I come over and clean your bathroom?
3. What can I make you for dinner?
4. When can I come play with your toddler, so that you can rest or run errands or shower or sleep?
5. Can I wash your dishes?
6. Can I scrub your fridge or discover where that putrid smell is coming from in your kitchen?
7. Can I bring you some tiramisu?
8. What kind of cookies does your husband like?
9. What kind of latte can I pick up for you?
10. How often would you like a massage?

Those are good questions, very good ones.  They are magical, life-altering, beautiful questions that would make anyone’s day.

And now I’m finished.

31 weeks today.  Glowing and radiant.  Excited. Ready.  Getting loads and loads of rest… in case you wondered.

Happy weekend.

{Liv